//ON CARS - REMAPPING!
//ON CARS - REMAPPING!
  • //Tuning
    • //ON CARS Remapping
    • Remapping Explained
    • Remapping Tools
    • Tuning and Suspension
    • Remapping Network and Self Tuning Tools
  • //Nürburgring
    • Nürburgring Tours
    • Atomic Shop GmbH
  • //Reviews
    • Aston Martin >
      • ASTON MARTIN VANTAGE - 4.7 LITRE V8 420HP (469NM)
    • Audi >
      • Audi RS7 4.0 TFSI 682hp 930NM+
      • AUDI A6 3.0 V6 TDI 233HP (450NM)
      • AUDI R8 - 4.2 LITRE V8 FSI 420HP (430NM)​
      • AUDI R8 - 5.2 LITRE V10 FSI 562HP (540NM)
      • AUDI SQ5 3.0 TDI 313HP (650NM)
      • AUDI TT 2.0 TFSI - 200HP (280NM)
    • BMW >
      • EVN Ring Rentals BMW M2 Clubsport
      • Raeder Motorsport BMW F Series M2
      • BMW F82 M4 431hp 550NM
      • BMW F21 120i 184ps 270NM
      • BMW E82 1M
      • BMW E46 325ci 'Clubsport'
      • BMW E30 320i 4.0 V8 CONVERSION
      • BMW E46 'M3' 3.2 Litre 343hp (365NM)
      • BMW E82 125i 3.0 Litre 211hp (250NM)
      • BMW E92 335i 306HP (400NM)
      • BMW F20 'M'135i - 3.0 LITRE 370HP (515NM)
      • BMW F34 'M4' - 3.0 LITRE 415HP (550NM)
      • BMW 125i 218ps (310NM)
    • Cirtroen >
      • CITROEN C2 1.1 LITRE 59HP (?NM)
    • Dodge >
      • DODGE RAM 360 CID 5.9 Litre V8 - 235hp (352NM)
    • Ferrari >
      • FERRARI 458 ITALIA - 4.5 LITRE V8 562HP (540NM)
      • FERRARI F430 - 4.3 LITRE V8 510HP (490NM)
    • Ford >
      • FORD FIESTA MK6 ST150 150HP (190NM)
      • FORD FIESTA MK6 ZETEC 1.6 TDCI 90HP (204NM)
      • FORD FIESTA MK7 1.0 ECOBOOST 140HP (210NM)
      • NEW FORD FOCUS RS 350HP (475NM)
      • FORD FOCUS ST225 2.5T 277HP (481.3NM)
      • FORD MONDEO ST220 3.0 V6 226hp (285NM)
    • Fiat >
      • FIAT ABARTH PUNTO EVO ESSESSE 180HP (270NM)
    • Lamborghini >
      • LAMBORGHINI HURACAN LP 610-4 - 5.2 LITRE V10 610HP (560NM)
    • Honda >
      • HONDA CIVIC TYPE R 'FN2' - 198hp (193NM)
    • Mclaren >
      • MCLAREN MP4-12C 700HP (740NM)
    • Mercedes Benz >
      • 2018 Mercedes C63-S AMG
    • Nissan >
      • NISSAN GTR (R35) #KNIGHTRACER
      • NISSAN 350Z - 3.5 LITRE V6 301HP (350NM)
    • Opel >
      • OPEL ASTRA 2.0T GTC 280HP (400NM)
      • OPEL CORSA VXR 1.6T NURBURGRING EDITION 210hp (250NM)
    • Porsche >
      • PORSCHE CAYMAN (981) GT4 - 3.8 LITRE 385HP (420NM)
      • PORSCHE 911 (997) CARRERA 2S 355HP (400NM)
      • PORSCHE 911 (996) GT3 - 3.6 LITRE 381HP (385NM)
      • PORSCHE 911 TURBO (997) 3.6 LITRE TWIN TURBO ​563HP (927NM)
      • PORSCHE 911 (996) C4S 320HP (370NM)
    • Renault >
      • NEW RENAULT CLIO RS 1.6T 200hp (240NM)
      • RENAULT CLIO 197 - 2.0 LITRE 16v 197HP (215NM)
      • RENAULT TWINGO RS 133hp (160NM)
      • RENAULT CLI​O 172 - 2.0 LITRE 16V 172HP (200NM)
    • Suzuki >
      • SUZUKI SWIFT SPORT!
      • SUZUKI TURBO SWIFT!
    • Toyota >
      • GR YARIS
    • Volkswagen >
      • VW Golf 7 GTi 2.0 TSI 230ps
      • VW Up! GTi Review at Ipswich Volkswagen
      • VW GOLF MK5 'R32' 3.2 LITRE V6 250HP (320NM)
      • VW GOLF R - 2.0 LITRE 292HP (380NM)
      • VW POLO 6C1 1.0 LITRE 60HP (95NM)
      • VW SCIROCCO 2.0 TDI 140HP (320NM)
      • VW GOLF MK5 GTI 2.0 LITRE TFSI 197HP (280NM)​
      • VW Sub 7Up! from Apex Nürburg
      • VW GOLF MK1 GTI 1.6 112HP (140NM)
  • //STUDIO
  • //EARBUDS
  • //SIM DEALS
  • //Tuning
    • //ON CARS Remapping
    • Remapping Explained
    • Remapping Tools
    • Tuning and Suspension
    • Remapping Network and Self Tuning Tools
  • //Nürburgring
    • Nürburgring Tours
    • Atomic Shop GmbH
  • //Reviews
    • Aston Martin >
      • ASTON MARTIN VANTAGE - 4.7 LITRE V8 420HP (469NM)
    • Audi >
      • Audi RS7 4.0 TFSI 682hp 930NM+
      • AUDI A6 3.0 V6 TDI 233HP (450NM)
      • AUDI R8 - 4.2 LITRE V8 FSI 420HP (430NM)​
      • AUDI R8 - 5.2 LITRE V10 FSI 562HP (540NM)
      • AUDI SQ5 3.0 TDI 313HP (650NM)
      • AUDI TT 2.0 TFSI - 200HP (280NM)
    • BMW >
      • EVN Ring Rentals BMW M2 Clubsport
      • Raeder Motorsport BMW F Series M2
      • BMW F82 M4 431hp 550NM
      • BMW F21 120i 184ps 270NM
      • BMW E82 1M
      • BMW E46 325ci 'Clubsport'
      • BMW E30 320i 4.0 V8 CONVERSION
      • BMW E46 'M3' 3.2 Litre 343hp (365NM)
      • BMW E82 125i 3.0 Litre 211hp (250NM)
      • BMW E92 335i 306HP (400NM)
      • BMW F20 'M'135i - 3.0 LITRE 370HP (515NM)
      • BMW F34 'M4' - 3.0 LITRE 415HP (550NM)
      • BMW 125i 218ps (310NM)
    • Cirtroen >
      • CITROEN C2 1.1 LITRE 59HP (?NM)
    • Dodge >
      • DODGE RAM 360 CID 5.9 Litre V8 - 235hp (352NM)
    • Ferrari >
      • FERRARI 458 ITALIA - 4.5 LITRE V8 562HP (540NM)
      • FERRARI F430 - 4.3 LITRE V8 510HP (490NM)
    • Ford >
      • FORD FIESTA MK6 ST150 150HP (190NM)
      • FORD FIESTA MK6 ZETEC 1.6 TDCI 90HP (204NM)
      • FORD FIESTA MK7 1.0 ECOBOOST 140HP (210NM)
      • NEW FORD FOCUS RS 350HP (475NM)
      • FORD FOCUS ST225 2.5T 277HP (481.3NM)
      • FORD MONDEO ST220 3.0 V6 226hp (285NM)
    • Fiat >
      • FIAT ABARTH PUNTO EVO ESSESSE 180HP (270NM)
    • Lamborghini >
      • LAMBORGHINI HURACAN LP 610-4 - 5.2 LITRE V10 610HP (560NM)
    • Honda >
      • HONDA CIVIC TYPE R 'FN2' - 198hp (193NM)
    • Mclaren >
      • MCLAREN MP4-12C 700HP (740NM)
    • Mercedes Benz >
      • 2018 Mercedes C63-S AMG
    • Nissan >
      • NISSAN GTR (R35) #KNIGHTRACER
      • NISSAN 350Z - 3.5 LITRE V6 301HP (350NM)
    • Opel >
      • OPEL ASTRA 2.0T GTC 280HP (400NM)
      • OPEL CORSA VXR 1.6T NURBURGRING EDITION 210hp (250NM)
    • Porsche >
      • PORSCHE CAYMAN (981) GT4 - 3.8 LITRE 385HP (420NM)
      • PORSCHE 911 (997) CARRERA 2S 355HP (400NM)
      • PORSCHE 911 (996) GT3 - 3.6 LITRE 381HP (385NM)
      • PORSCHE 911 TURBO (997) 3.6 LITRE TWIN TURBO ​563HP (927NM)
      • PORSCHE 911 (996) C4S 320HP (370NM)
    • Renault >
      • NEW RENAULT CLIO RS 1.6T 200hp (240NM)
      • RENAULT CLIO 197 - 2.0 LITRE 16v 197HP (215NM)
      • RENAULT TWINGO RS 133hp (160NM)
      • RENAULT CLI​O 172 - 2.0 LITRE 16V 172HP (200NM)
    • Suzuki >
      • SUZUKI SWIFT SPORT!
      • SUZUKI TURBO SWIFT!
    • Toyota >
      • GR YARIS
    • Volkswagen >
      • VW Golf 7 GTi 2.0 TSI 230ps
      • VW Up! GTi Review at Ipswich Volkswagen
      • VW GOLF MK5 'R32' 3.2 LITRE V6 250HP (320NM)
      • VW GOLF R - 2.0 LITRE 292HP (380NM)
      • VW POLO 6C1 1.0 LITRE 60HP (95NM)
      • VW SCIROCCO 2.0 TDI 140HP (320NM)
      • VW GOLF MK5 GTI 2.0 LITRE TFSI 197HP (280NM)​
      • VW Sub 7Up! from Apex Nürburg
      • VW GOLF MK1 GTI 1.6 112HP (140NM)
  • //STUDIO
  • //EARBUDS
  • //SIM DEALS

BMW F34 'M4' - 3.0 Litre 415hp (550NM)

I am still flummoxed by this car, and what it did to me just over a week ago up in Liverpool. BMW have certainly upped the anti with this mother! (no swearing - new rule).

This car was not designed on Earth. 

LOOK AT THE BONNET AND FRONT GRILLE!! Its still too much for me to comprehend. I haven't seen a BMW that has ever brought this much emotion since the release of the E92. The car is more than aggressive - IT IS PURE RAGE at its most primitive. It screams futuristic lines and looks like something I'd drive in a nightmare. Or a goodmare?

War... has... begun.

Strangely (for me) I didn't spend too much time at full throttle when driving this around. Not because it kept trying to go sideways from standstill, but mostly because I was shattered! I'd spent the best part of that week driving around the country, testing a few cars, meeting some magazine guys and hadn't had much sleep before this event. Thankfully - this animal has cruise control - and my return journey on the M56 towards Liverpool was more sedate.

The Chassis - Perfect as ever. BMW never fail to impress me (with exception of the BMW E46, but we'll save that for another debate) and I felt comfortable before even starting the engine.

The Body - Incredible! Look at those lines - LOOK AT THE BONNET!!! ARRRRGGGHHHH!!!! That's what it says to me! ARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHH!!!!

The Throttle - Oh Sweet Lord. What I felt beneath my right foot is not a gas pedal. It is a WEAPON. Its too much for my soul. A standard car shouldn't try to kill you.. It shouldn't 'snap' the arse out when I pull the paddle into second gear - it just shouldn't. But this DOES!!! It does... It is dirty and disgusting - but I want more! 

The Exhaust
- Yes please. Oh, stop it! Oh, do it again! Oh.... STOP IT, said my child-like brain as I drove it, VXR style around the very beautiful Calderstones Park area. When wandering couples turned to look at me, they weren't doing that ''sports car smile'' that I'm used to. Their faces - all of them - were in abject fear! As though Satan had broken through the crust and tarmac, dragging his belly on flamelit knuckles.... grunting... gnawing.... then building pace until his hooves joined the calamity and errupting in the most gut-wrenching tone I have EVER felt.

Would I have this instead of the Porsche...?

I'll answer that in a bit.....

Okay I'll answer it now. 

YES!!! OF COURSE I BLOODY WOULD!!! IT PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE SEVERAL TIMES WHILST MAKING NOISES I'VE NOT HEARD BEFORE!!! 

ITS SUCKING AND SNORTING ITS FACE OFF - AND THERE'S NO WAY TO SHUT IT UP.

The BMW M4 has torque where it 'shouldn't' be. It should NOT have power that low down the RPM range. I don't want to go sideways at 1950RPM but I do at the same time.. I'm so confused! I can't think about this car. I've just looked on BMW's website for the specs - and its clear why this thing is so destructive!

Max output - 431hp (5500-7300RPM)
Max torque - 550NM (1850-5500RPM)

Don't torque to me.

I have nothing else to say.

Nicholas Lawrence //ON CARS

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//ON CARS Remapping!


Software Tuning Work Hours

Business Hours

Sunday to Friday
08.00 - 16.00 GMT

If you have to tune a car outside these hours please book in advance.

File turnaround 20-30 minutes. Advance booking preferred

Location 

//ON CARS Remapping! is available in the UK, Europe and Dubai.

It is also possible to contact me via instagram for a faster reply.

I am always available during open hours. Instagram info follows below.

@_nicholas_lawrence

Email

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Copyright© Nicholas Lawrence //ON CARS Remapping 2024
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